Hand in the Wheel

 Well it seems like forever since I have had time to write on this page to you all.  I have been dealing with issues at home which have made me realise how important the basics of communication can be.  From asking the simple questions like what is for dinner to the really important one 'how are you?'.  

This first one is one of desire, wants, and unimportant relevance, the second one is the one we should all pay attention to.  It opens the door for that person to unburden both their mind and spirit and paying basic lip service to it means we are never truly there for the people around us; holding them at arms length and ticking a box to say we care and have 'touched base'.  Never before was this shown to me until recent times when I realised how out of touch with my daughter I was and how far away I truly was from being there for her.

All the tell tale signs which I had put down to her age, the quietness, staying in her room and not talking, the asking to be taken to school rather than riding the school bus.  All this should have shown me how in need she was of me, me being there.  Not just in the sense of sitting next to her but listening, seeing, reaching and holding her.  Being for want of a better phrase her light in the  darkness.  It is all well and good to ask the question but do we ever truly listen to the answer.  Do we truly watch the body language realising something is not right.  Sitting for hours so eventually that person opens even if it is the chink in the door which allows the briefest view of what is going on.

I nearly lost my daughter, my little girl who I promised from the moment I held her I would protect and always be there for.  I was not there, I was not even close, and for that I will never and should never forgive myself that is for someone else to do.

As I write this I do not want to share a sob story or even even gain empathy from those that read this.  What I want is for people to learn, see what I am trying to say and take that few minutes more with those we see, talk and care about to make sure that we are not just paying lip service to a customary function but truly meaning it, truly holding true to those people and being the hand which can pull them from the brink, the arm which brushes away the cold and the one who when no one else has puts there hand in the gears and stops journey which they are on.

Mental health is a vital as our physical, without the mind the body will not work and without the spirit being vitalised and whole the mind does not function.

I hope you are all well and speak again soon.